Articles: Humor
Charting Bloopers: Signs and symptoms
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Patient
has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
Since the patient stopped smoking, his smell is beginning
to return.
She was unresponsive but still bleeding spontaneously.
Stool remains quite spry and active.
The lab test revealed abnormal lover function.
My arm is fractured but not broken
I’m having gas pains in my head.
I’m losing oxygen in this part of my brain, right
here behind my ear.
He could not hear sounds in the low toes.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the
way to Los Angeles.
Patient complains of indigestion since last night when he
ate a stake.
If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years, it
comes and goes.
I’m not constipated; I can breathe just fine.
Indwelling urinary catheter draining clear yellow roses.
I have bronchitis in my knee.
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.
The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis
which goes to his feet.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped,
and he was feeling much better.
The patient says he feels so wonderful he wonders what to
do with it.
Experienced mood swings because she suffered from PBS.
The young man was seen in my office complaining of involuntary
seminal fluids emission during foreplay of several weeks
duration.
She is quite hard of hearing. In fact, she can't hear at
all in the left eye.
Patient walks six blocks now. The doctor told him it may
take a year to come back.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me
in 1993.
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness
of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home
while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency
room.
She stated that she had been constipated for life, until
she got a divorce.
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