Have you observed how people use head gestures when negotiating? If not, you should. There’s invaluable information in such displays. What might be viewed as incongruity between what is spoken and what is indicated by the movement of one’s head, may turn out to be a valid communication style. If you misconstrue their actions, you’ll misinterpret important information you otherwise would have received.
When considering how to interpret the real meaning of incongruent head gestures, pay attention to these factors.
Head movement: Some people actually move their head from side to side to indicate they’re in agreement with you. That’s contrary to what you expect to see. In most cases, when someone moves her head from side to side, she’s indicating that she is in disagreement. Prior to the official negotiation, verify the manner in which the other negotiator uses head gestures by asking him questions, or observe how he responds to questions from others, and the head gestures that are associated with his response. If you note a perceived incongruity between his words and head movement, pay attention to such gestures to determine if that individual has a quirk when it comes to displaying his demeanor in such situations.
Leading you to agreement: Some people will end a statement while moving their head up and down. That’s what we normally expect to see when someone is in agreement. By moving her head at the end of a statement in such a manner, subliminally, she’s attempting to lead you to agreeing with her pronouncement. Make sure you understand what her attempt is and determine if her actions match her words. In such situations, if you wish to be playful or display nonconformity, you might gesture your head in the opposite direction of hers. Then, observe her reaction. In some cases, she may stop her line of questioning to gain insight into what you’re conveying with your gestures. If she doesn’t do so, she may be subliminally indicating that she will attempt to overwhelm you and sway your thoughts to her opinion. In either case, be aware of the body language signals that are being exchanged and how there use is influencing the negotiation.
Note differences in head movement: The same head gesture could convey different thoughts in verbal versus nonverbal messages. Don’t assume there’s incongruence just because the head movement and the spoken word are not synchronized. The mental state of mind of the other negotiator may be such that she expresses herself subconsciously in such a manner. Verify the real meaning of her gestures before making assumptions.
You should always create a plan before entering into the negotiation. By including the observation of how someone uses her head gestures, you’ll put yourself in a better position to avoid defeat.
Greg Williams is the author of this guest post. He joined Pat Iyer on November 29 for a repeat of the successful webinar, Negotiations: Superpower Your Ability to Negotiate: How to Read Body Language Webinar. Watch the replay.
