Posts Tagged ‘Negotiation skills’

“How to Detect Lies From Impressions and Expressions When Negotiating” by Guest Author Greg Williams

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

When negotiating, can you detect lies based on someone’s expressions, or the impression that he makes on you? You’ve no doubt heard the expression, “He lied to me with a straight face.” The body never lies. So, when someone is lying, the body will compensate for his untruthfulness by displaying cover actions. Cover actions can be almost imperceptible nuances that occur when people lie, or they can also be exaggerated expressions. Nothing succeeds like success. When a person becomes confident about his ability to lie in a negotiation, and he continuously gets away with it, he will continue to lie. In most cases, he will become emboldened to increase the intensity of his lies. You’ll have the opportunity to catch him in a lie.

The way to detect and deter a liar is to observe the verbiage he uses during the negotiation, and observe his body language when you suspect him of lying. When lying …

Body language gives away lies

Body language gives away lies

• People will tend to use phrases that make them feel comfortable. Take note of the comfort phrases that a person uses and note the change that occurs when he alters such phrases. When change occurs, he could be in the process of entering into a lie, or fully engaged in it.
• People will lie to make themselves appear to be more impressive or demur. The lie will usually be accompanied with body language that exemplifies the stature of the liar. Such gestures may be observed as when the individual raises his head higher, or thrusts his chin or chest forward when seeking to be perceived as being more impressive. A demur individual will tend to bow his head and present a less impressive image.
• People will also lie to get out of tough situations. Such maneuverings will usually be accompanied with gestures that reveal their discomfort. Thus, they’ll tend to keep their arms close to their body. They’ll also tend to be more reflective, as they try to keep their story on track.

To enhance your efforts of catching a liar in his lie, switch subjects in the middle of his suspected lie. Change the subject to anything that’s unrelated to what he was discussing. After a few minutes, ask him to continue speaking about what he was discussing when you suspected he was lying. When he resumes the discussion, take note from where he continues, versus where he left off. Also, take note of the degree his demeanor has altered. In addition, you can ask questions that highlight slight differences in what he said. For example, if he said the insurance carrier would not provide an offer of over $100,000, restate what you heard as the carrier would not offer more than $150,000. By slightly altering what you said he said, he’ll have to go into recall mode, if he was lying. If he’s telling the truth, more than likely, he’ll say without hesitation, “Oh no, it was $100,000.”

In any situation, before you can discern if someone is lying, you have to establish her baseline. That means, you have to be aware of how she gestures and use verbiage in normal environments. Then, as you seek to detect lies, note the differences between what is normal to what becomes different from normal. Therein will lay the signal to delve deeper into what she is saying. Once you discover how to hone your skills to detecting liars, it will be increasingly difficult for someone to lie to you successfully … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …
• When you suspect a liar is lying, don’t be too quick to stop him. Observe the verbiage he uses and his body language. The more comfortable he becomes with his lies, the more lies he’ll tell. In so doing, he’ll give you greater insight into how he lies and why he lies. Then, you’ll know what to look for when you suspect he’s lying.
• If you’re astute at reading body language during a negotiation, you can pick up on nonverbal signals and detect a liar’s lie before he gets too deeply into it. In so doing, you will decrease the probability of being deceived.
• People lie because they’re seeking something they need at the time of the lie. In a negotiation, if you understand the need, you’ll understand the source of the lie. From that perspective, you can address it.

To inquire about having The Master Negotiator as a coach or consultant, or to conduct ‘live’ instructional sessions, and/or keynote presentations at your company, group, or organization, please send an e-mail to GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com and start getting more out of life, when you negotiate. Please include the verbiage, ‘Negotiation Inquiry’ in the subject line.
by Greg Williams – The Master Negotiator. If you’d like more information on how you can become a savvier negotiator, click here to checkout Greg’s new book, “Negotiate: Afraid, ‘Know’ More.” Please visit The Master Negotiator‘s website at http://www.TheMasterNegotiator.com for additional information and negotiation resources for individuals and businesses.

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51/2 Ways To … Possibly Solicit Cooperation When Negotiating by Guest Author Greg Williams

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

two women attorneys smWhen negotiating, how do you solicit cooperation? You can browbeat someone; you can cajole them; you can be very amenable to their every whim, and yet, you may still be unsuccessful at soliciting her cooperation. The one thing you must do, in order to give someone what she wants and needs is to understand why she wants and needs what she is seeking. The following are 51/2 ways you can solicit cooperation when negotiating.

1. Be honest:
Where and when possible, be honest. Some situations may require that you shave the truth, but unless you’re negotiating in a hostile situation, one in which the other negotiator is not being as forthright as she should, walk the path of truth. The truth, applied with sincerity, will tend to engender support for your cause. Always strive to be honest, but weigh the cost of doing so, depending upon the situation in which you negotiate.

2. Know mental strength:
You must know your strengths and weaknesses, along with those of the other negotiator in order to solicit cooperation. Seek to understand the mindset of the other negotiator before attempting to sway her. Understand her true source of motivation and cater to it. Before soliciting her assistance, reveal yourself as a nonthreatening person who only seeks understanding, in order to be understood.

3. Know your target:
Three questions to ask the other negotiator are:

What do you want?
What are you seeking?
How will you know when you’ve received/achieved it?

By asking such questions, you’ll receive her ‘measuring stick’ for that which is important to her. In addressing her needs, you will have an unequivocal mark upon which to aim and to measure the outcome based on what she seeks from the negotiation.

4. Consider begging:
Yes, I said it! If all else fails, when the stakes are high and none of your attempts bear fruit, consider begging to solicit support. With some individuals, such actions are very appealing. Just be mindful of to whom you are begging, because it can also be a turn-off.

5. Speak in the positive:
When communicating, express your positions in the positive. Instead of saying, “I don’t think point A warrants much merit”, say instead, “I prefer point B.” In so doing, you’ll be infusing the conversation with positivity. You’ll also subliminally, plant the thought of being positive as you solicit support.

5.5 Let it go:
Never be afraid of letting go. You won’t be able to convince everyone to see things your way. Some people will never sense the value you possess. In such cases, find others with whom to negotiate. When you negotiate, you should have alternate sources from which to receive what you seek. In addition, by showing that you’re willing to walk away, you can enhance your position.

As you negotiate, if you apply the appropriate strategy to solicit cooperation, in the right manner, and at the right time, in the right place, more often than not, you’ll get the assistance you seek … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …
• Always remember, in a negotiation, timing is everything. Just because someone is not amenable to your offer today does not mean she won’t be agreeable tomorrow. Assess her desirability to connect with you, and time your attempts to solicit her support when the time is best suited for her to do so.
• Consider the size of the emotional stage the other negotiator wishes to stand on and how she wishes to be perceived. If she wants to be recognized as being magnanimous, feed that need in her. By addressing the need that has her highest desire, you can assist her in achieving the emotional feeling she’s seeking and she’ll be more willing to assist you.
• When negotiating, always strive to align your actions to match the outcome you and the other negotiator seek from the negotiation.

If you would like to have Greg Williams, The Master Negotiator as a keynote speaker, trainer, or coach at your company, group, or organization, contact him by sending an e-mail to The Master Negotiator and begin maximization your resources.

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Negotiate with Confidence, Not Cockiness by Guest Author Greg Williams

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Cockiness will impair negotiation

Cockiness will impair negotiation

Some negotiators radiate a persona of confidence that directs the negotiation towards a successful outcome. Some negotiators exude cockiness, which can inject needless anxiety into the negotiation. Which negotiation style do you possess? There’s definitely a place for self-confidence when negotiating, but one should always be careful not to appear to be cocky.

A cocky attitude tends to cause the other negotiator to be less impressed with the negotiator displaying the cocky attitude and may set the need to pull the cocky negotiator off his high horse. In essence, a cocky attitude will, in most cases, serve as an unwelcome impediment in the negotiation.
Consider implementing or using the following strategies when negotiating, to offset the appearance of appearing to be cocky …

1. Convey a point in a negotiation with a velvet glove, instead of a sledge hammer. Always take into consideration the value of moderation and temperament when you convey your sentiments.

2. Humor is another way to display confidence, especially if you point it at yourself. Don’t use humor in an inappropriate way. If an attempt at humor is perceived to be inappropriate, it will degrade the negotiator using it and the negotiation.

3. People tend to trust people who display concern for them. When they hurt, they want to know others hurt with them. If you display empathy and confidence at the same time, you will create a dynamic combination that will completely unarm most negotiators.

Understand in life, our self-confidence creates our reality; in so doing, it shapes the perception that others have of our reality. When displaying confidence during negotiations, we lend outward appearance to that reality.

If you balance the display of self-confidence against the outward appearance of cockiness and keep the display of cockiness in check, you’ll be perceived as a more amenable negotiator and one that people will be able to deal with in an up front manner. The other negotiator will appreciate your negotiation positions; you’ll also project the appearance of someone that has control of the negotiations, which will cause the other negotiator to be less challenging. When you display confidence, you’ll be adorned with a benefit that you can use shepherd the negotiation towards the successful outcome you seek … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …
• In most cases, when negotiating, leave cockiness at the door. It may serve you well in other arenas, but it won’t provide a lot of assistance to you when negotiating.
• Confidence injects vitality into a negotiation. Instill confidence in yourself before attempting to instill it into a negotiation.
• During negotiations, don’t allow the swagger of the other negotiator to bait you into weakening your confidence and be careful not to allow someone’s display of cockiness to cause cockiness to in you.

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Watch Handshakes When Negotiating by Greg Williams

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
What can you learn from a handshake?

What can you learn from a handshake?

When you negotiate, the handshake sets the tone of the negotiation. Handshakes convey nonverbal messages, which can give valuable insight into the character of the other negotiator. Consider what occurs in the 2 to 5 seconds when you shake someone’s hand. Do you take into account his or her grip? Is it firm, soft overbearing, or almost non-existent? What about your handshake—does it convey warmth, sincerity, or that of an antagonist? Below are handshake illustrations and the nonverbal meanings they carry.

  1. Firm handshake: Conveys the intent of sincerity. Be cautious, it can also conceal the attempt of deceit.
  2. Overbearing/bone crushing handshake: Could convey overcompensation for someone’s lack of self-confidence, or a desire to give the impression of control over the other negotiator.
  3. Limp handshake: Usually given by people unsure of themselves, or at least in their current environment.
  4. Four-finger handshake: This occurs when one person grasps the four fingers, rather than the whole hand, when shaking hands. Women who shake the hand of men are the ones who typically use this style of handshake. Since women have smaller hands then men, it’s one way a woman can send the signal: “I’m in control, or will try to be, in this negotiation.” If a man uses this style of handshake, he’s usually thought of as a wimp.
  5. Two handed handshake: This occurs when one negotiator engulfs the other negotiator’s hand in both of his. This handshake can convey dominance or sincerity, warmth, and camaraderie. Take note of what occurs early in the negotiation to determine what the meaning of the handshake was and continue to observe the direction in which the negotiation flows.
  6. Free hand on elbow handshake: This is a sure sign that the negotiator whose free hand is on the other negotiator’s elbow is sending the signal “I am in control”. If both negotiators use the same handshake, they’re both sending the same nonverbal signal of their attempt to gain control.
  7. Free hand on shoulder handshake: This is an attempt to gain even more control than the handshakes described above. This style of handshake is displayed by placing the free hand on the shoulder of the other negotiator, while shaking his hand. If the first negotiator uses any of the above handshakes, the ‘hand on shoulder’ style of handshake will send the signal of ultimate dominance.

To increase your chances of having a strong hand when negotiating, take note of what your handshake and that of the other negotiator conveys. If you can accurately discern that meaning, you’ll gain insight into the other negotiator. From the outset of the negotiation, you’ll have a huge advantage over the other negotiator … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …

  •  There’s a lot of value in being able to convey and perceive the hidden meaning of a handshake. Since a handshake communicates so much information, become astute at determining the real meaning of the handshake.
  • To gain advantages when negotiating, learn the meanings of handshakes and use that knowledge to enhance your negotiation outcomes.
  • Understand a handshake can convey hidden and manipulative meanings. A savvy negotiator can use the handshake to set the stage for a negotiation, that will cast her in the light by which she wishes to be viewed. Be aware, it may not be her real persona.

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“To Negotiate Successfully … Consider Ethnicity and Gender” by Guest author Greg Williams

Monday, August 10th, 2009

obama-drinks-a-beer-thumb-340x430When negotiating does ethnicity and gender matter? You betcha! When you negotiate, control your ego, be aware of your environment, and be very cognizant of the influence that ethnicity and gender have on the participants involved in the negotiation.  Recently, a prominent black professor of a prominent university was arrested. His arrest occurred as the result of a neighbor summoning the police after she thought, inaccurately, that he was breaking into what turned out to be his own home. Once the police arrived, they requested the professor produce identification proving he resided at the residence. In the discussion, a white police officer and the black professor exchanged negative words and the situation quickly escalated into what became a national discourse on race relations. The president of the United States weighed in, which escalated the affair to higher heights.  
      From a negotiation perspective, we can glean many lessons from this circumstance.
      1.    During the encounter, it was reported that the professor asked the police officer, “Do you know who I am?” The implication was that the professor was someone of prominence and thus the police officer should be aware with whom he was dealing and act accordingly. Upon hearing this, along with some other exchanges of negative dialogue, the police officer became incensed, which caused the situation to escalate.
       * Although it may be difficult when negotiating, don’t allow the lack of control of your emotions, or that of the other negotiator, to take the negotiation in a direction that’s not beneficial.
      Pat’s note: I have experienced this escalation of emotion on rare occasions when discussing an attorney’s dissatisfaction with services provided by one of our experts.  The discussion can quickly become clouded with emotion, which prevents any meaningful communication on the issue or resolution of dissatisfaction. Also note that you may be thrust into the middle of an emotional negotiation without any forewarning.
     2.    The two individuals that initiated this situation were of different ethnicities.
      *Before and during negotiations, consider the background of the person with whom you’re negotiating and assess how that difference might cause that person to interact with you and you with him, in the negotiation. This is also true when there’s a gender difference between two negotiators.
      3.    The police officer felt compelled to exude his authority and thus arrested the professor, even though the professor had displayed proof that he resided at the location.  In the heat of a negotiation, be mindful when the negotiation begins to spiral out of control. If you sense it quickly enough, call a time out before it goes too far. 
       Pat’s note: In those rare cases when an attorney’s emotion prevented me from being able to have meaningful dialogue, we have agreed to disagree. I call the expert and review the invoice before talking to the attorney again. Then we’re both ready to negotiate. 
      4.    The president of the United States commented on the situation, which invoked ‘other opinions’ that ratcheted the situation higher.
      * Always be aware of the effects that outside influences can have on a negotiation. In the planning stages of the negotiation, try to anticipate what outside influences you might encounter and consider how you might address them.
      Greg’s note – To defuse the situation, the president invited the main participants to the White House for a beer. They came. 
      Sometimes when negotiating, things can occur so quickly that you don’t have time for regrets of the past, or fear of the future. That can be dangerous! Always seek to control yourself and to the degree that you can, the other negotiator. You’ll have less stress in the negotiation. The negotiation will flow smoother. There’ll be less combativeness in the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.
 The Negotiation Tips Are …
·       Always be aware of the impact an outside influence can have on a negotiation.
·       In life, people see the world through the lens by which they’ve come to view it. When negotiating, metaphorically view their expectations through their lens.
·       When you encounter negativity in a negotiation, call a time out to get things back on track. Consider how you might do so in an environment that is nonthreatening and one that is mutually neutral to all parties involved.

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Negotiate Successfully by Guest Author Greg Williams

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

camcorderUse Proper Planning and Positioning
Before negotiating, sometimes, even the best negotiators are caught off guard. When that happens to you, back out of the negotiation and regroup. Recently, I purchased a camcorder and found that it did not function properly. Since I bought it from a chain store that was going out of business and there were signs in the store indicating all sales were final, I knew there might be a challenge in returning or exchanging it.

When I entered the store, I went right to the customer service area and informed the clerk of the purchase I’d made of a nonfunctioning camcorder. She told me all sales were final. I exclaimed, “I’m not seeking my money back, I just want a camcorder that works.” After going through two layers of company employees and finally speaking with the store manager, her reply was the same as her subordinate’s: “All sales are final”. I left the store very discouraged and dejected, but not defeated.

I regrouped, developed a plan, and went to a different store of the same chain. This time, I went to the camcorder department and observed the clerks performing their duties. I took note of one individual that appeared to be very pleasant, as he assisted customers. I quietly asked, away from the other patrons, if he could assist me when he had a moment. He said he’d be glad to assist me. Once I had his undivided attention, I asked what his plans were for employment after the store was no longer in business. He told me, he was currently in college and had to find another job to help pay for his tuition. I told him, I had worked my way through college and thought the process helped build character. I also told him I had observed the manner in which he cheerfully assisted customers. I told him he should be proud of the way he did so, because he was building his character.

Then, I asked him to show me how a display model of my camcorder should function. He showed me and pointed out how easy it was to use. I then told him that I had bought the same camcorder less than 24 hours ago from his chain and asked him to operate mine. He did and found it did not operate properly. I asked him what I should do. He said, “You know, all sales are final, but I’ll give you a different camcorder and put yours in the storage room, marked as defective.” I thanked him and was on my way with a new camcorder.

What was the difference between the two situations? In the first scenario, I freely forged forward, relying upon my finesse to win the day. I had not planned for what I might encounter and thus, I had not planned to negotiate.

In the second scenario, I planned every stage of the negotiation and sought the person I felt, based on surveillance and body language that would be most suitable to assist me in obtaining what I sought from the negotiation. Before you enter into a negotiation, if you take the time to position yourself properly, and plan accordingly, you’ll enhance the probability of achieving the goals you set for the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …
• No matter how good you are when it comes to negotiating, develop your plan before you negotiate.
• Never discount the value of building rapport with the person/people with whom you’ll be negotiating. By building rapport before you ‘officially’ begin to negotiate, you increase the chance of reaching a successful outcome.
• If you find yourself in a negotiation that you’re not prepared for, disengage. Always remember, he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.

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Negotiate to Win Using Risk Reversal Strategies by Greg Williams

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

by Guest Author Greg Williams, the Master Negotiator, and Pat Iyer

When you negotiate, do you consider the value that ‘risk reversal’ strategies have on the outcome of the negotiation?  Risk reversal is a strategy that allows you to take the onus off the other negotiator, which increases his comfort level with your proposal or position.  Shrewd negotiators seek prudent ways to project the perception that their negotiation partners are receiving value from the negotiation. In using risk reversal strategies, that image is conveyed very succinctly. As savvy negotiators become more circumspect, you can add risk reversal strategies to enhance your negotiations.

When you’re confronted by increasing pressures to make concessions, understand why the requests are being made. Let the requests for concessions accumulate before trying to address them on an individual basis. Then, look for a common thread that runs through the requests, with the intention of discovering how you can address all of them, or as many as possible, by diminishing the overall weight they bring to bear on the negotiation. After you’ve made that determination, craft a risk reversal strategy that will take the burden of the requested concessions off the other negotiator and place the burden on yourself.

  • Plaintiff attorneys use risk reversal strategies when they offer to take a case on contingency.
  • Defense and plaintiff attorneys use risk reversal strategies when they agree to a high – low arrangement. In this model, the attorneys identify an expected range for the verdict at trial. If the jury awards any money, the attorneys have already identified their risk range. Pat assisted with a case that involved a quadriplegic who was scalded in a bathtub of water. The attorneys agreed to a low of $900,000 and a high of $1.2 million. The jury returned a verdict of $200,000. Under the high low agreement, the plaintiff got $900,000.

Even though we’re in challenging economic times and things may be tough, by negotiating smarter and using risk reversal strategies, your hope for positive negotiation outcomes can outlive your despair. When considering the potential of a negotiation outcome in its totality, consider the role ‘risk reversal’ can play in making concessions and adding perceived value to the negotiation … and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are …
• Before entering into a negotiation, give considerable thought to how you can use risk reversal strategies to assist the other negotiator in moving towards the outcome you’d like to achieve.
• When considering which risk reversal strategies might work better than others, remember to consider the mindset of the person with whom you’re negotiating. Different negotiators are motivated by different incentives.
• People like to feel they’ve received more than they bargained for. When you negotiate, don’t let the pit of your fears stop you from reaching the summit of your negotiation outcomes. In every negotiation you’re involved in, explore the value that risk reversal strategies can add to your negotiations.

How do you use risk reversal methods? Send us a comment.

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