Charting Bloopers: Patient behavior

The patient has difficulty swallowing pillows and has to turn her head to one side.

No mobility limitations noted except for difficulty with transfers, standing, turning and ambulating. (What’s left?)

Observed by nurses in bed.

The patient refused an autopsy.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

The patient was lying flat on a guernsey.

The patient was asked to breathe but she refused.

The patient was alert and unresponsive.

(Nursing home) the resident refused soap suds enema this am. Yelling “I’m not impacted, I don’t need an enema. Go give it to the doctor.”

The patient was wondering in the parking loft and fell from the sidewalk.

(Patient found dead): Felt cold, blanket added, voiced no complaints.

The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

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