Charting Bloopers: Physical examinations

Patient seen in the floor.

Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized.

Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

Skin intact, red, and broken.

The skin was moist and dry.

Pulses are probably in both feet.

She is numb from her toes down.

Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The rest of the physical examination is normal, including the right hands.

The genitalia are normal in experience… I’m sorry… appearance.

Rectal exam revealed a normal-size thyroid.

Description of hemorrhoids: “Big Time”

The patient had a hell decubiti

Respirations deep and regular–no breath sounds.

Abdomen soft, no liver or spleen (ed: you can’t live without a liver)

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

Filed In: Humor