Charting Bloopers: Signs and Symptoms

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

Since the patient stopped smoking, his smell is beginning to return.

She was unresponsive but still bleeding spontaneously.

Stool remains quite spry and active.

The lab test revealed abnormal lover function.

My arm is fractured but not broken

I’m having gas pains in my head.

I’m losing oxygen in this part of my brain, right here behind my ear.

He could not hear sounds in the low toes.

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

Patient complains of indigestion since last night when he ate a stake.

If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years, it comes and goes.

I’m not constipated; I can breathe just fine.

Indwelling urinary catheter draining clear yellow roses.

I have bronchitis in my knee.

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling much better.

The patient says he feels so wonderful he wonders what to do with it.

Experienced mood swings because she suffered from PBS.

The young man was seen in my office complaining of involuntary seminal fluids emission during foreplay of several weeks duration.

She is quite hard of hearing. In fact, she can’t hear at all in the left eye.

Patient walks six blocks now. The doctor told him it may take a year to come back.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

She stated that she had been constipated for life, until she got a divorce.

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