• When you possess the power position at the negotiation table, be judicious with it. Use it wisely. Today’s power position could be tomorrow’s position of weakness.

• Don’t make “take it or leave it” offers when you have a power position in a negotiation. If you’re in a position of strength, you don’t have to flaunt it.

• It doesn’t cost anything to be nice. That’s especially true when you have a power position in a negotiation. By being magnanimous in such a situation, you create goodwill. If circumstances are reversed one day, you may gain from that goodwill.

• The ranges of emotions experienced in a negotiation are tied directly to how you answer and ask questions. Answer questions with this thought in mind.

• Negotiators experience a wide range of emotions prompted by the questions posed. In order to become a better negotiator, learn to use questions strategically.

• By posing and responding to questions strategically, you decrease the potential for defeat and improve your chances of reaching a successful outcome.

• Always remember that displaying anger can be a game changer when you negotiate. Once the other negotiator realizes that he’s caused you to become angry, he’s changed the game.

• Play it cool when angered during negotiations. As a commercial once said, “Don’t let them see you sweat.” Don’t let your anger show. People can sense anger before it is manifested. At the first moment you realize you’re becoming angry, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Try not to allow this display to be observed by the other negotiator.

• Always be aware of the need to control your emotions during a negotiation. A loss of control could cause you to think irrationally, and adopt actions that you might otherwise avoid.

• Your emotions will possess more credibility to the degree there’s congruity in your words and emotions.

• You may consider pointing out this observation if the other negotiator’s emotions are not aligned with his body language. Your attempt would be to get him to alter his facade.

• Anger serves the purpose of changing one’s demeanor. In a negotiation, you must maintain mental control of your environment. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by the false pretense of anger.

Greg Williams is the guest author of this blog post. This material is used with permission from a forthcoming book on negotiation skills. He is the author of the”Negotiate: Afraid ‘Know’ More” and the author of a forthcoming book on negotiation and reading body language, with an emphasis on micro expressions. Reach Greg at GregWilliams@TheMasterNegotiator.com.

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