Charting Bloopers: Unusual medical and social histories

Patient had a breast deduction.

Patient had rectal breathing.

She fell this morning while she was trying to get out of the commode.

He states he hit his head on his forehead.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

The patient is a Catholic nun currently in between missionaries.

She was the seat belted passenger in a car traveling on the highway that was hit on the left side by a tractor-trailer, pushed around, and apparently spun around for a few days.

The patient fell while running down the hall carrying his walker and a pair of shoes.

The patient was found lying on her left side on the floor next to the bed. The patient was responsive and stated she was asleep.

The patient walked from inside his room to the doorway of his room, reached his left arm outward, leaned in the direction of his left arm, and fell into the hallway.

The patient fell while sitting down on a chair that wasn’t there.

She had a cabbage done.

My ovaries exploded when I was dancing.

When I got hit in the head, I think I received a confusion.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989, when she got a divorce.

The patient is an 81 year old Caucasian male with a history of Parkinson’s disease treated with Sinemet and with frequent force both at home and at the nursing home.

Her husband was living in the nursing home next store.

She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband. The patient refused an autopsy.

Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Physician has been following the patient’s breast for six years.

Patient is separated from his wife, and he is also allergic to penicillin.

Her first and only child was born at age 44.

Sinuses run in the family.

She had one fall in April; she attributed this to luck, not circumstance.

The patient is a 65-year-old woman who fell, and this fall was complicated by a truck rolling over her.

Patient stated that if she would lie down, within two or three minutes something would come across her abdomen and knock her up.

Her boyfriend also apparently has vaginal warts.

Chief complaint: Auto/pederast accident. History: The patient was pederast and was struck by an automobile of unknown history.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Ring cut off finger and finger handed to Mom.

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